Penpusher
Posted: 2015-06-15T10:03:24+10:00 In:

When a robotics genius goes missing, a jaded, debt-ridden PI who hates androids and whose eye implants are switched off must reanimate his hated android and work together to find the missing man who holds the key to his eyesight being restored and debts wiped.

Drago Bentley: Space Detective

Share

    Post a review

    You must login to add an answer.

    To see everything,

    3 Reviews

    1. Penpusher

      This needs chopping in half. Is a blind private investigator a good idea?

      • 0
    2. Singularity

      What is the MC’s primary goal?

      Is it getting his eyesight back or is it getting rid of his debt?

      You seam to have the A pot and the B plot mixed into the one logline best to use the logline to describe only the A plot.

      Otherwise the logline is too long and the inciting incident doesn’t seam like a good motivator for the MC as presumably finding missing people is a normal part of hi job.
      What happens in this instance that is out of the ordinary that the MC needs to fix?

      Hope this helps.

      • 0
    3. Mentor

      Interesting. You should focus on one main goal ans nir shelter said. If at the end of the jurney he found a new pair of eyes, even better, that will be cool.
      Is him really blind? if so, say it clearly, there is no space for doubts in reading a logline.

      • 0