When a son is chosen to take over his father’s billion dollar company, he must adjust to the world of business and his newfound power.
When a son is chosen to take over his father’s billion dollar company, he must adjust to the world of business and his newfound power.
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My first reaction to this logline is: So what?
I don’t mean that in a rude way, but there is nothing there to interest me. I don’t care about big business growth and I would say very few movie-goers would either. But I would care about a guy who has a major struggle to cope with sudden and unexpected pressure to perform something he has no skill or aptitude for… but somehow finds the way to succeed anyway.
I’d suggest you rewrite this logline, focusing on the character’s story, not the business side.
Think of business related movies such as The Wolf of Wall Street, or The Pursuit of Happiness. These aren’t really about business, but about the characters.
As the others have said. And the logline needs to have stakes.
So, what that he must “adjust”?? What does he stand to? lose if he doesn’t? (Nothing less than everything will do.)? What does he stand to gain if he does?? (His biggest dream.? What is it?)
Why is he unprepared and how is it demonstrated?
When a socialist leaning son is chosen to take over his father?s billion dollar company he is tore when he must decide to preserve jobs or close a division for the sake of profit and maintaining his father?s legacy.
This is a bit long and probably not your story, but you get the point.
Agree with Richiev’s questions and will add the following:
>>> “must adjust to the world of business and his newfound power”
How is this going to work visually? Film is a visual medium and you need to think about how these things will be represented on screen. When you have that clear in your mind, tell us that in your logline.
What’s the son’s arc going to be? Give him a characteristic to give us a clue why this is worth watching. Is he meek? selfish? cocky? a bully? etc etc etc. This will tell us a lot about what sort of story we’ll be watching.
Addressing all of these (and Richiev’s points) will help us care about the story.
Whose son?
What business?
What is the lead character’s goal?
Also, why is the son chosen, why hasn’t he been groomed since birth to manage the company?
Answering these questions in your logline will improve it greatly