A future animation tv series idea….
KeymiserLogliner
When a star studded, self-centered young talented musician lusting for the lifestyle of a rockstar, scores him and his band of brothers a chance to be signed and mentored by one of the music industry’s big time acts, he must wrestle with the rewards and pitfalls of stardom, love, and loyalty in the music industry in order to maintain his integrity as an artist and become a better man to those around him.
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“self-centered young talented musician” = protagonist
“scores a chance into music industry’s big time acts” = inciting incident
Great logline! Clear statement of protagonist’s character flaw – self-centered. Then BANG! their dreams come true with an inciting incident. How will a selfish person behave, when suddenly they get what they want? Lots of potential for conflict there.
Question: Who then is the antagonist? There’s a suggestion of wrestling with rewards and pitfalls, but the statement feels abstract. Difficult to imagine in any concrete sense. But if a bad guy was thrown in?
And this villain character, what if they were, well you know, really nice? Likeable in fact, call them selfless, generous, and caring. Quite a contrast here, and one that may even imply the character arc, more than simply stating “a better man to those around him”.
Through profoundly different stories, it kind’a reminds me of Gone with the Wind (1939). Scarlett O’Hara an’t that nice a girl, every one around her is so much nicer. Yet we connect with this character because of her flaws, and how she struggles to amend them. Just wondering who is your Rhett Butler.in your story?
Thank you for the comment review foremost! And see that’s what I’m struggling with identifying because how I perceive it the music industry is the antagonist because a lot goes on in Hollywood and the music industry when young stars enter them or any industry at a young age. They get exposed to to certain things for fame and notary. And with my concept my character go through these things in the music industry he is excited to live his dreams finally after getting this record deal but he is unprepared what’s thrown at him, example scandals, accused etc. that get him caught up and test his relationships with those he love. It’s not a direct antagonist human wise I’m trying not to go that route so I just am trying to find a way to convey that in my log line
You change the lead character’s goal midstream and it makes the logline too long.
Goal 1: Fame
Goal 2: Integrity
If integrity is the main goal that the lead character must achieve, you should set up that the lead has musical integrity at the beginning, perhaps integrity to a fault.