Logliner
Posted: 2017-11-26T05:03:01+10:00 In:

When a starry-eyed, awkward girl is stabbed protecting the object of her unrequited love, her beloved?s cowardly behaviour compels her to look for another boyfriend?based on more than just good looks.

When a starry-eyed, awkward girl is stabbed protecting the object of her unrequited love, her beloved?s cowardly behaviour compels her to look for another boyfriend?based on more than just good looks.
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    4 Reviews

    1. Uberwriter

      The story starts just as the longline ends. How is she going to do that? The rest is interesting but could be done in an opening shot. Tell us her quest unfolds.

      • 0
    2. Singularity

      Agreed with Craig.

      It’s not clear how the story will play out. She wants a new guy – that is her goal, so we need to know what she does to get her man.

      • 0
    3. Singularity

      I have to agree with the others, this is just the set up, the story would be what she does about it. Does she do online dating. Does she get a mail order boyfriend…?Does she go on christian mingle.com???

      Here would be an example of a logline with a forward looking plot instead of a logline that concentrates on the setup.
      ——————————————————-
      After she dumps her self-centered boyfriend, a socially awkward musician travels to Ireland to hire a famous matchmaker who has never failed to produce a love match, at least until now.”
      ——————————————————

      Hope that helped.

      • 0
    4. Singularity

      After the lead dumps her rotten boyfriend, and before the main plot begins you should have a few scenes where she awkwardly tries dating on her own.

      1: She tries sexting a guy (PG13) video tapes herself dancing in her underwear… it goes live to all her friends
      2: She gets set up on a blind date: He turns out to be 70 and keeps falling asleep at the restaurant. (“You’ll love him, he’s a Marine veteran…” fails to say it was the Korean war)
      3: She tries online dating only to accidentally get on the wrong site and her match turns out to be a very butch lesbian. (Only works if the lead is straight)
      4: She tries a singles group at her church… Her mom is there, and her mom has better luck than she.

      That is when out of the blue, she gets a number or sees a commercial or a friend tells her about… What ever your hook is. (The matchmaker who has never failed to produce a match)

      • 0