Lost in the Jungle
When a stubborn, reclusive young man gets separated from his family during a jungle trek, he must learn to adapt and survive if he is going to rescue his parents from a separatist rebel holding them hostage.
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The inciting incident is the initiating action that drives the throughline of the story. In this case, it’s the act of the protag’s parents being taken hostage (which drives his goal of rescuing them), not that he is separated from his family.
You might be able to come up with better adjectives to describe your protag than “stubborn” and “reclusive”. If you’re trying to introduce a flaw that makes his journey that much more difficult, perhaps “agoraphobic”? And replace the “young man” moniker with a less generic description.
“After his parents are kidnapped by a separatist rebel during the family’s jungle trek, an agoraphobic introvert struggles to overcome his fears and survive in the wild in order to rescue them.”
Hope this helps
The inciting incident is the initiating action that drives the throughline of the story. In this case, it’s the act of the protag’s parents being taken hostage (which drives his goal of rescuing them), not that he is separated from his family.
You might be able to come up with better adjectives to describe your protag than “stubborn” and “reclusive”. If you’re trying to introduce a flaw that makes his journey that much more difficult, perhaps “agoraphobic”? And replace the “young man” moniker with a less generic description.
“After his parents are kidnapped by a separatist rebel during the family’s jungle trek, an agoraphobic introvert struggles to overcome his fears and survive in the wild in order to rescue them.”
Hope this helps
Good comment above, I’d add that his flaw would be key to making this a more interesting story and the suggested flaw doesn’t quite do it. Acrophobia is good but doesn’t capitalize on the full potential of the setting and goal.
If the setting is a jungle and the antagonist a separatist rebel perhaps if the MC had acrophobia and OCD about cleanliness or a specific phobia of trees or animals that would push his obstacles further. Matchstick Men was a good example of mashing together a whole bunch of phobias into the one MC and making him tackle challenges accordingly.
Also if you where to specify where the jungle is located then the specific type of antagonist would be made clearer. Vietnam, Papua New Guinea, Thailand, the Republic of Congo and Brazil all have different cultures and therefor different characteristics to their rebels and their actions.
Hope this helps.
Good comment above, I’d add that his flaw would be key to making this a more interesting story and the suggested flaw doesn’t quite do it. Acrophobia is good but doesn’t capitalize on the full potential of the setting and goal.
If the setting is a jungle and the antagonist a separatist rebel perhaps if the MC had acrophobia and OCD about cleanliness or a specific phobia of trees or animals that would push his obstacles further. Matchstick Men was a good example of mashing together a whole bunch of phobias into the one MC and making him tackle challenges accordingly.
Also if you where to specify where the jungle is located then the specific type of antagonist would be made clearer. Vietnam, Papua New Guinea, Thailand, the Republic of Congo and Brazil all have different cultures and therefor different characteristics to their rebels and their actions.
Hope this helps.
What was not in that logline is a relationship the boy has with his mentor. I’m interested in a coming-of-age story in an extreme circumstance with a boy who is a real fish out of water.
For example:
When his parents are kidnapped in the Amazonian jungle by a sadistic guerilla rebel, a shy, agoraphobic teenage gamer must learn to work with a bad tempered Navy seal in order to rescue them before they?re executed.
I’m toying with the idea right now. Nothing has been written.
What was not in that logline is a relationship the boy has with his mentor. I’m interested in a coming-of-age story in an extreme circumstance with a boy who is a real fish out of water.
For example:
When his parents are kidnapped in the Amazonian jungle by a sadistic guerilla rebel, a shy, agoraphobic teenage gamer must learn to work with a bad tempered Navy seal in order to rescue them before they?re executed.
I’m toying with the idea right now. Nothing has been written.
It seems to me there might be more dramatic possibilities if he’s a shy boy who gets kidnapped (for ransom) and has to rescue himself before a deadline (ticking clock) runs out. (And maybe another kid who has also been kidnapped for ransom.)
Even better, make the MC a shy young girl.
It seems to me there might be more dramatic possibilities if he’s a shy boy who gets kidnapped (for ransom) and has to rescue himself before a deadline (ticking clock) runs out. (And maybe another kid who has also been kidnapped for ransom.)
Even better, make the MC a shy young girl.