Logliner
Posted: 2016-08-30T05:24:41+10:00 In:

When a teenage girl is refused by her school girlfriends for still being a virgin, she decides to commit suicide when a sex offender kidnaps her.

When a teenage girl is refused by her school girlfriends for still being a virgin, she decides to commit suicide when a sex offender kidnaps her.
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    4 Reviews

    1. Man this is dark. As a logline this doesn’t really make sense either — she’s going to commit suicide because her friends made fun of her I get, but what does her getting kidnapped have to do with it? It’s very disconnected.

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    2. Singularity

      I am not sure what you mean when you say, she is ‘refused’ by her school girlfriends’

      I would try a different word, maybe shunned might fit better.

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    3. Singularity

      This is very confusing.

      Forget logline and genre, what does the girl want and why?

      Perhaps if you list these things we may be able to?help you put together a logline.

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    4. Singularity

      The stakes don’t stack up.

      School yard popularity ?v serial rape ???!!!!?You just can’t compare the two.

      According to your description the plot should really be about her survival and helping the other prisoners, the backstory shouldn’t even be mentioned in the logline. Description of her school friends, or lack thereof, should be delegated to the synopsis.

      Here is an example of a logline with your subject matter and character:
      After a depressed teen is kidnapped by a serial rapist, she must lead all the other victims out of their prison to safety.

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