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AlexJenkinsPenpusher
Posted: May 2, 20192019-05-02T13:19:36+10:00 2019-05-02T13:19:36+10:00In: Noir

When a Texas cotton farmer’s land stops yielding crops, he teams up with an old friend to distribute VHS pornography tapes; leaving his family and slipping into a world of depravity and greed to become the undisputed King of Pornography in Texas. (1980)

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    5 Reviews

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    1. Aidan Soguero Logliner
      2019-05-02T14:36:56+10:00Added an answer on May 2, 2019 at 2:36 pm

      The idea is solid. I’d be interested in seeing this movie. But it fails to have the necessary elements of a successful logline. For one, there’s no conflict. There’s a problem and he solves it. Whatever the main conflict is needs to be what your logline focuses on. For example: When a Texas cotton farmer’s land stops yielding crops, he struggles for a new source of income, unwittingly falling into the distribution of pornography.

      Which leads me to the second problem with this logline. You gave away the ending. You should never give away the ending if you want a producer to read the script. If the Sixth Sense logline was: “A psychiatrist struggles to help a young boy who sees dead people, and it turns out the psychiatrist was dead the whole time” it never would’ve sold.

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    2. Richiev Singularity
      2019-05-02T15:24:54+10:00Added an answer on May 2, 2019 at 3:24 pm

      Does the lead character have a goal? Something the audience can relate to?

      In other words, what does the lead character want?

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    3. dpg Singularity
      2019-05-02T22:02:11+10:00Added an answer on May 2, 2019 at 10:02 pm

      Is this based upon? by a real life character?

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    4. Ckharper Samurai
      2019-05-03T09:53:51+10:00Added an answer on May 3, 2019 at 9:53 am

      Does his goal become getting back with his family?

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    5. Robb Ross Samurai
      2019-05-04T00:17:48+10:00Added an answer on May 4, 2019 at 12:17 am

      Agree with the others. As well, clarify if it’s production and not just distribution because it’s hard to see depravity with the latter. With depravity, greed becomes secondary or an assumed part of it.

      Even if this is based on someone real, try to strengthen the hook and family part so that this can be more than ‘Boogie Nights in Texas’.

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