When a top notch agent finds a drug that is killing people, she enlists the help of her lazy, post war, pension living boyfriend to aid her in finding out how to stop the drug before an entire city is wiped out.
LeviathanSamurai
When a top notch agent finds a drug that is killing people, she enlists the help of her lazy, post war, pension living boyfriend to aid her in finding out how to stop the drug before an entire city is wiped out.
Share
I like the structure of the logline. Every important element is mentioned.
What I don’t get is why the top notch agent enlists the help of her lazy, post war, pension living boyfriend?
I wouldn’t do that when I’m on my way to stop a drug that is threating to wipe out an entire city.
In scripts like this you need CONTRAST between your two main characters. It works best when you have two different types of persons.
You can create tension and conflict within your protagonists and, by that, drive the story forward.
Just think about? Dr. Watson and Sherlock Holmes.
This gives your story an extra boost.
Another possibility is to add one character that doesn’t have any or maybe even bad experiences with being an agent.
You stated in your logline that her boyfriend is a “post-war” guy.
Maybe is he traumatized or was fired earlier on due to his incompetence. That way you can raise the stakes, because? your characters are not the type of persons you would think of succeeding in the first place. It makes for a great story concept.
I hope that helps.
I normally don?t question story logic, but the obvious question is why not take it to the boss.
Whatever is stopping her is problem the story. You have give us a great setup, but not the story with any detail.
The agent of what? The agent of s.h.i.e.l.d.? Agent to the stars? FBI agent? M:i6 agent?
It doesn’t take that many words to say CIA agent or DEA agent and give the reader a little more clarity.
I’m doing my research on that right now, so I really don’t know. Ordinarily DEA would handle these situations in real life, most likely along with hazmat units to make sure the stuff is safe, but I’m trying to scope opportunities for new ideas. FBI is used way too much for me and M:I6 would infer that the movie takes place in Great Britain, even thought leaves a few pathways as well to explore. If all else fails for me, I’ll make one up.
The agency for me isn?t the issue. What forces her outside the agency is the story. Is it corrupt, are people in the agency involved or has she been framed?