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A_R_RoadLogliner
Posted: June 3, 20182018-06-03T00:54:37+10:00 2018-06-03T00:54:37+10:00In: Crime

When a young, British Muslim develops an obsession online with a maniacal and violently motivated con-women, he must attempt to maintain control despite being coerced toward instigating a terror situation on a London commuter train.

When a young, British Muslim develops an obsession online with a maniacal and violently motivated con-women, he must attempt to maintain control despite being coerced toward instigating a terror situation on a London commuter train.
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    6 Reviews

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    1. TullyArcher Samurai
      2018-06-28T03:23:22+10:00Added an answer on June 28, 2018 at 3:23 am

      That’s a lottttt of words to basically say someone wants him to do something and he needs to tell her no. I dunno, just seems like the movie’s over as soon as he goes oh no wait I’d rather not kill people.

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    2. A_R_Road Logliner
      2018-06-05T02:45:24+10:00Added an answer on June 5, 2018 at 2:45 am

      Thanks for the comments, much appreciated again.

      The film kind of plays out from two separate?perspectives, I don’t want you to think I have overcomplicated the plot because that’s not the case.

      In the second act, the terrorist character essentially becomes the antagonist and having put some thought into how I should approach the logline, I am now pretty sure that the terrorist is not, and never was, designed to be written into a protagonist role… Although he is the lesser of two evil characters who cross paths in the opening act of the film, this basically becomes his inspiration to fulfill his role as the antagonist in act 2.

      The protagonist, (a female who inadvertently comes into contact with the terrorist and essentially overcomes his attempts to victimize her, sending him spiraling?into even further resentment for humanity and feeling even weaker and isolated – cementing his decision to cause the attack, however only due to his own inabilities), is introduced in Act 1 but her primary input to the film leading up the conflict with the antagonist (terrorist) is reserved for Act 2.? However thinking about it, it creates a formula … Act 1 sets up the existence of the story and the fundamental motive behind it., ACT 2 leads toward the conflict between the two (by now) most established characters…

      However as I may have mentioned before, the film is non-linear to an extent. It starts?as an epilogue, so the audience essentially sees the resolution play out from the start and that concluding scene is interwoven throughout the Three (consecutive, linear) ACTs of the film, which delve into deep personal observation of our main characters until they eventually encounter one another?at the end of ACT 2. And during that ‘interweaving’ final scene, our female protagonist is directly encountered by the ‘evil force’ (i.e the conwomen) who inspired our primary antagonist in ACT 1.

      The purpose is for the audience to perceive a network of inadvertent?personal encounters that all lead to one?disruptive and life-changing event.
      However, there are to very obvious main characters that I could assign to the essential protag / antag roles.

      I’ll work on and post a logline with my new interpretation in mind…

      Many Thanks

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    3. dpg Singularity
      2018-06-05T01:05:43+10:00Added an answer on June 5, 2018 at 1:05 am

      I can see this working as a character study into the true believer mindset.? Which may be a hard sell depending on how credible the character comes across.? But I’m still unclear as to the setup and inciting incident.

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    4. Richiev Singularity
      2018-06-04T08:00:31+10:00Added an answer on June 4, 2018 at 8:00 am

      Two things could help improve this logline

      1: A stronger inciting incident: In your logline, you say he “… develops an obsession” something like that happens over time, instead you should have him be the victim of an injustice of some sort. Maybe he’s attacked by skinheads and the assailants are never arrested. Some event that makes us understand why he would allow himself to become radicalized.

      2: The other direction you might go with this logline is to have a different lead character through whose eyes we see this kid get radicalized; maybe a sister or best friend.? The new lead character’s goal would be to save them from the con woman as they grow increasingly under their seductive control.

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    5. dpg Singularity
      2018-06-03T08:08:39+10:00Added an answer on June 3, 2018 at 8:08 am

      >>>he must attempt to maintain control despite being coerced

      I’m confused.? Is he being coerced or manipulated?? And if the former, who is coercing him?

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    6. variable Uberwriter
      2018-06-03T05:08:55+10:00Added an answer on June 3, 2018 at 5:08 am

      Knowing that the women is a violent maniac, his obsession would make him a negative character, with whom it becomes tough/impossible to relate in the role of a protagonist.
      If he didn’t knew, then it need not be a part of the logline…since it is supposed to be from his POV

      His GOAL “..must attempt to maintain control” is incomplete; maintain control of what? Rather, it should be to prevent her at all cost (or something tangible like that) from instigating that terror situation…

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