When the lands fairest Princess father is killed and throne taken by an Evil Suitor, her exiled mother she never knew returns to teach her the magical arts to take back her Kingdom
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When the lands fairest Princess father is killed and throne taken by an Evil Suitor, her exiled mother she never knew returns to teach her the magical arts to take back her Kingdom
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While I don’t think Superman is “boring” as many people enjoy to say, I don’t like Kryptonite, while yes he is weakened by other things such as magic(If I remember correctly), I guess I just prefer low level powers, is what I’m trying to say. In novels, people like Alex Verus, Ray Lilly, people with a single or a few, defined abilities, whether or not the antagonists have powers or not(I think in those the antagonists are magical.) ?I do enjoy a good, big screen Superman vs. Zod, titan vs. titan battle, but mostly I like low levels. Though I do particularly like Harry Dresden and Isaac Vainio, even though they are quite powerful, have ?a wide range of abilities, and are constantly evolving. ?Either way, whether the antagonist has powers or not, they can be a compelling villain.
But anyway,??onto the logline.
Example:?When her father is killed and his throne taken, a young princess must learn magic from her exiled mother to stop the false king from possessing her and take her rightful throne.?(~31 words)
Since it is labelled adventure, it is my opinion that the original post does not give much indication of that, but Nir Shelter’s does.
Regardless if the villain has powers or not, I strongly urge that you find a good motivation, and a clear goal, that is something other than world domination or some variation. In other words, think about making it personal. The villain wants?her specifically. As in, he doesn’t even want her in order to achieve his bigger goal, she is the goal. Whether it’s jealously, revenge,(as in, possibly the mother scorned the new king and now he wishes to take her), or something like the old king stole the new king’s daughter(the princess) and now he wants her to know the truth. (that doesn’t really work with the plot you’ve given, at least to me it wouldn’t make much sense to kill the king in order to achieve it), or even he just wants her to be his apprentice. Basically, don’t just make the villain “evil”, make him relatable, give him a good reason for doing what he’s doing.
Hope this helps.
Dkpough1 re:
>>Actually, now that I think about it, this somewhat applies to Batman as well. While he doesn?t have actual powers, he has(impossibly) mastered all martial arts, and is at peak physical condition.
True, and that’s my point. Batman has to win by his ?wits, courage and?natural physical strength. ?Gifting a character with super duper powers (but not the antagonist) ?deprives the story of suspense because the deck is stacked in favor of the protagonist. ? Whereas ?the deck should be stacked in favor of the antagonist. ?Always.
The subtext of the slogan in “The Hunger Games” — may the odds ever be in your favor — is that the odds are overwhelmingly not ?in favor of Katniss Everdeen. ?That what makes her a ?such a great hero; ?she discovers and develops her native, natural strength and savvy to prevail against the odds.
In this logline, the inciting incident is a serious reversal of fortune for the princess. ?But really, how is the deck stacked against her struggle to reverse her fortune, recover the throne?
What Nir Shelter said: ?make her work for her lunch.
You raise a good point, Dkpough1, with the example of Superman. ?It illustrates another point about plotting a super hero, male or female. ?If the protagonist has a “super edge”, a super power, that the villain doesn’t, then the hero also needs a vulnerability that the villain can exploit, a potentially fatal one.
The Greeks intuitively figured out this bit of dramatic gimmickry thousands of years before Superman when they conjured up tall stories of the super hero Achilles. ?Who was invulnerable to attack because as an infant his mother dipped him into the magic waters of the river Styx. ?Invulnerable except where his mother held him during the immersion — his heel. ?Hence, the term Achilles heel. ?And sure enough, that’s how he died in the Trojan War.
So to heighten her jeopardy, intensify the dramatic suspense, the princess in this story needs either 1] To be matched with a villain with supernatural resources; ?or, 2] Has a potential fatal weakness, ?an “Achilles heel”, that the antagonist knows about and will exploit.; ?or 3] Both.
As mentioned above make the princess work for her lunch. If she is the MC then she needs to actively seek out a course of action that will save the day, i.e she searches for and finds the mother to learn magic and defeat the bad guy.
The wording still comes across as a bit selfish “?take back the kingdom?” best if you make her more concerned with the welfare of her people than her own throne. If the bad guy enslaves the people, then she MUST act to benefit?them all and not just herself.
Lastly the wording of your logline isn’t working. The idea of suitor is irrelevant to the logline and confuses the issue – how can he be a suitor if he kills her father and takes her kingdom? That may have been relevant several drafts ago, but not any more. Just describe the bad guy, as DPG mentioned, as a great opponent (wizard, sorcerer or magician), ?how he came to know the princess can be left to the script.
For example:
?After?a sorcerer kills her father and enslaves her people, a sheltered princess must search the land for her exiled mother in order to learn forbidden magic?so she can fight the usurper?and free the land.?
“Can anyone think of a ?magical? story where only the protagonist ?has access to the supernatural or extraordinary power?”
While more sci-fi than fantasy, yes, I can. The most well known character in the whole world: Superman, and Lex Luthor has no powers. Yes, he has technology, but it is still not on par with Superman, and the only reason Lex stands a chance is 1) Superman holds back, and 2) Lex often uses Kryptonite. But, at the moment, I can’t think of any wizardry type protagonists that fit this situation.
I also don’t necessarily agree with your statement that just because the protagonist has powers/magic, then the antagonist should as well. Now, the protagonist’s power should not be something that guarantees victory, but rather a tool they have to use in order to defeat them. In other words, a good storyteller doesn’t need a Spider-man to challenge Spider-man. They can challenge him in different ways using Kingpin, rather than using Venom.
Since you mentioned Star Wars, looking to the television series, there are plenty of enemies the Jedi face that aren’t Force-wielders.
At the very least, they don’t need the exact same powers, that I can think of a lot more examples.
On another note, a world that has well-defined limits on magic usually won’t end with magic solving everything. The protagonist has to think and apply the magic as a tool, if at all, in order to win. Just as in Star Wars, the Force is just a means to an end, not the end itself.
For the record,??I would ?prefer ?a story with a strong female character who prevails against evil by sheer dint of courage and intelligence. ?Like?Princess Elizabeth Tudor. Whose claim to lasting glory in English history?is how she outwitted and defeated all her opponents and claimants with her wits. ?That’s why they keep making movies about her illustrious reign.
When the protagonist has sole or privileged access to the supernatural, where’s the risk? ?Where’s the suspense? ?She has access to all the high cards; it’s a no-brainer that eventually she’ll figure out how to play them in the 3rd Act and defeat the antagonist who is handicapped, who only holds the low cards of merely natural power and ability.
IMHO: ?if you’re going to give the princess access to a bag of magical tricks, then than the antagonist/usurper should also have access to a bag of magical tricks. ?Pit feminine magic against masculine magic.
Can anyone think of a “magical” story where only the protagonist ?has access to the supernatural or extraordinary power? ?I suggest taking a cue from the Star Wars saga, George Lucas was savvy enough to “gift” ?both Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker ?with the Force.
The rest is franchise history. (And if you’re going to transform your female character, in effect, into a super-hero, then you ought to be thinking of the franchise potential for the concept.)
My 2.5 cents worth.
“When her father is assassinated, a sheltered princess must search the land for her exiled mother in order to learn the forbidden arts and extract revenge on the usurper.”
The logline needs to clearly indicate who gets the nod as the protagonist.
Must the daughter learn the supernatural arts from her mother? ?Or must the mother teach her daughter the supernatural arts? ?When it comes to casting, who gets top billing and pay, who gets the supporting role — those are not equivalent questions.