When an abused blind orphaned boy discovers his magical powers, he struggles to stop a megalomeniac businessman with intent to obliterate his kingdom and his people.
BennethLogliner
When an abused blind orphaned boy discovers his magical powers, he struggles to stop a megalomeniac businessman with intent to obliterate his kingdom and his people.
Share
I am not really a fan of the word ‘struggles’ in a logline
—-
“A blind orphan must use his newfound magic powers to stop a megalomaniac from obliterating his kingdom.”
—-
By the way, is there a reason why a businessman would want to obliterate a kingdom? A businessman by nature would need people to buy his products. If everyone is dead there is no one to do business with.
In other words, a businessman would want a healthy kingdom not a destroyed kingdom.
That doesn’t mean you villain wouldn’t act that way, but a couple of words in the logline explaining why destroying the kingdom would be in the businessman’s best self-interest would help the logline.
Anyway sounds like an interesting concept, good luck with this.
Thanks for your review. The fact is that the businessman wants to rule the kingdom. He brings a witch who placed a curse on the kingdom. The kingdom is hit by servere drought. The people become dissatisfied with the king. The man almost succeed but the blind boy breaks the curse with his power.