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crucisis
Posted: November 21, 20122012-11-21T13:00:40+10:00 2012-11-21T13:00:40+10:00In: Public

When an accused murderer claims that her friend time-travelled, a famous psychiatrist turned writer starts questioning his beliefs and rationality

Matter of Time

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    2 Reviews

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    1. 2012-11-23T16:41:25+10:00Added an answer on November 23, 2012 at 4:41 pm

      This is a really muddled and confused story here (and not in any sophisticated “Inception” sense). Most execs would reject this just because of the muddle. Furthermore there is nothing in the logline to suggest that the accused murderer is not plain nuts with her claim of a time travelling friend. Really bad start making this potentially a story about loonies all round! The psychiatrist/writer is a completely redundant character. The accused murderer has enough questionable sanity, so why introduce this third person?

      A much better set up would be to have the world ready to convict the accused murderer. With the accused desperately trying to prove her innocence by tracking down a time travelling stranger who has set her up for no clear reason. We have a clear protagonist and antagonist in this case. All the odds against the protagonist and a clearly clever and powerful antagonist. THAT is true drama!

      Steven Fernandez (Judge)

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    2. Karel Segers Logliner
      2012-10-03T12:03:13+10:00Added an answer on October 3, 2012 at 12:03 pm

      This is confusing.

      Who is the main character?

      – An accused murderer: if she is innocent, we will have sympathy and she could be the MC.
      – Her friend: if there is someone time-travelling in the story, this is likely the most interesting character and perhaps should be the MC.
      – A famous psychiatrist turned writer: if he “starts questioning his beliefs and rationality”, you’re probably in dangerous territory. The audience doesn’t like main characters (thinking they’re) going mad, unless they figure out quickly that they are NOT and start doing something about what is really the issue.

      So who is it?

      And the next question: what does the MC >>DO<< in most of the story? The logline needs to give us an idea of the type of story it is and what to expect in Act Two.

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