When an armed soldier takes a junior class hostage, two rookie teachers are forced to defend their class.
BfehreLogliner
When an armed soldier takes a junior class hostage, two rookie teachers are forced to defend their class.
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I like the logline and the story seems to be not only fresh, but also very interesting.
I would just add another element at the end of your logline.
Maybe urgency gives your concept another boost.
The awful truth is more compelling than this fiction.? What does this story have to say that rises above the level of mere exploitation and manipulation of an ongoing national tragedy?
As a short, this could work. However, I struggle to see how this premise can be stretched out to a full length feature.
By the way, this story might be a little too relevant. I am not saying you shouldn’t write the story, I’m just saying you might have trouble getting a film about a school shooting greenlit at this point in time.
“When a disgruntled former student takes the junior class hostage, an inexperienced?psychology teacher must play a mental game of chess with the gunman to convince him to release the students unharmed.”
Why two? Why not a specific lead character? Why are both teachers important to the plot? (Your logline is concise and to the point, we are just talking minor tweaks, not a major overhaul)
Rookie is too vague and not appropriate in this situation. Young teachers or student teachers reads better. Defend sounds like a shoot out. Which is a single piece of action. Are they trying to escape?
If so, they must defend their children while trying to escape. Does he have them trapped, give us that.
Trapped by a gunman two student teacher must try escape with their child all the time being hunted.
Perhaps some emotional goals. It is good, but too basic.