A slightly more fleshed out idea, it’s kind of a sci-fi dystopian story. The people are stuck on a ship and the government controls every aspect of their lives in order to keep them safe. The main character is a stringent rule follower until he sees a girl he fancies and she shows him evidence of government corruption and deceit. He begins to follow the girl and her group in acts of secret rebellion. At the midpoint they discover they are still on Earth and not in space which is when part of the group along with the main character’s love interest is captured to be executed and the main character now must rescue them and instead of hiding from the government needs to tackle them head on while forming a revolution.
MitchWLogliner
When an Earth colony ship teacher discovers his government is hiding information and executing it’s citizens, he must find a way to hide from the governments watchful eyes and rebel; but when his friends are captured he must find a way to overthrow the government to save his friends and free his people.
Share
Thanks for the synopsis, consider the following:
1. A teacher suddenly missing students is a good inciting incident.
2. To keep your protag from having a passive goal e.g., follows rebels, consider adding a rescue mission that is anything but, and the “mission for equality” becomes his arc.
3. Governments are big and vague, if keeping in the logline, try focusing the mission against one e.g., benevolent leader 😉 ~ Fallout game reference.
Based on your synopsis, I can glean the following – make these yours:
“Set on an Earth colony ship in a dystopian future, a loyalist teacher’s rescue mission to recover missing activist students turns into a quest for equality”
OR
“When radicalized students go missing, a loyalist teacher on an Earth colony ship sets out to …“
BTW, love the twist – they’re not actually in space!
Keep going, take care.
After an explosion causes their colony ship to take twice as long to get to their new home planet, a teacher must save two of her students when the elitist government decides to kill off undesirables so the deserving can survive.”