When an exhausted Driver contemplating a life change, receives an ultimatum to go into work on his day off. He must deal with an assorted bunch of characters, who will shape what direction he will take his life.
zla28Penpusher
When an exhausted Driver contemplating a life change, receives an ultimatum to go into work on his day off. He must deal with an assorted bunch of characters, who will shape what direction he will take his life.
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What the others wrote.
I’ll add that the logline needs to describe a starting and ending point, in other words inciting incident and goal.
As Richiev wrote, describe his goal in detail. However, also describe? what motivated him to achieve this goal. In this case what specific event motivated him to HAVE to change his life?
As the others have said. ?The story seems to be driving the Driver rather than the Driver driving the story.
If this Locke I see it as something different
A man desperate to do the right thing, drives to birth of his illegitimate child, ringing everyone in his life trying to explain his actions.
A more specific goal will help this logline. “Contemplating a life change” is vague… Does he want to be a writer? A doctor? Does he want to own a surfboard shop in Tahiti? In a logline, specifics are good.
Also what the lead has to deal with should also stand in the way of the goal… How does dealing with an assorted bunch of character’s stand in the way of his goal of contemplating a life change?
In conclusion, adding a specific goal and something standing in the way of that goal will help this logline.
Hope that helps, good luck with this!