Eye in the Sky
(35 words)
dpgSingularity
When an innocent girl enters the kill zone for a drone attack, the mission commander must overcome legal and ethical objections to get permission to execute Kenyan terrorists on the verge of a suicide mission.
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A timely issue. Very clear premise. I’d like to see an adjective in front of the mission commander.
“an embattled mission commander”
” a veteran mission commander”
“a retiring mission commander”
“an inexperienced mission commander”
?
I believe the story would work better if it is told from the prospective of the person who has to make the decision.
In your story the lead must get permission thus shifting responsibility for the action. If there is anyway to change that, I would change it so the lead is the one who must make the terrible decision.
Maybe communications get jammed, there is a small window and it is up to the lead to decide, go for the kill or don’t go for the kill.
Hope that helped.
My logline is told from the viewpoint of the person who will make the final call. But first she –the mission commander is played?by Helen Mirren — must go through an approval process, clear the hurdles of concerns and objections by politicians, diplomats and lawyers. ?S.O.P. and a frustrating one for her.
The target terrorists are in Kenya ?The mission commander is British working in the UK. ?The crew that controls the drone are Americans working in a portable control room outside Las Vegas. ?Everyone directly involved deciding and executing the drone attack is thousands of miles away from the targets and the collateral victim.
Now I’m going to sound horrible, but it’s only logic. When given the choice between one innocent person (girl) and many (terror attack) the choice is clear – save the many. I would argue that there is no choice to be made – it’s not a lesser of two evils rather a heart-breaking order to give and execute.? However, if the terrorists were only suspected of planning an attack i.e they may or may not kill many people, then there is a choice to be made.
I haven’t seen the film so I don’t know what actually happens.
Furthermore, it sounds to me like the girl wondering into the kill zone is the inciting incident. The mission goes to plan up until her walking into the kill zone, her unexpected presence throws a proverbial spanner in, and forces the mission commander to take action. If it wasn;t for the girl there would be no dilemma and no story.
I agree with Nir. It’s a messed up world we live in, but that’s the realism. Otherwise, I like the intertwining?stories. It could be very dramatic and suspenseful.
When?an innocent young girl is?killed by mistake? during a U.S. drone?strike?on a group of identified Kenyan terrorists en route to?a suicide mission?and that?leaked video goes viral, a wet behind the ears Navy?Drone Commander?is forced into?the eye of a?political?storm where the horrors of war and ethics collide.