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JBLogliner
Posted: March 9, 20162016-03-09T09:02:10+10:00 2016-03-09T09:02:10+10:00In: SciFi

An afflicted paleontologist joins a research crew on a mission to a Jovian moon to recover an ancient fossil that may cure her disease but must escape after discovering the relic can transform them into terrifying creatures.

An afflicted paleontologist joins a research crew on a mission to a Jovian moon to recover an ancient fossil that may cure her disease but must escape after discovering the relic can transform them into terrifying creatures.
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    1. dpg Singularity
      2016-03-10T13:36:38+10:00Added an answer on March 10, 2016 at 1:36 pm

      As FFF said, the logline is juggling too many balls.

      And about fossils being?used to cure diseases.? If it were SOP on earth to vet fossils?for medical uses as well as mount them in museums, ?there would be no problem with that plot point.? But I am not aware — is anyone? aware? — that?fossils are routinely tested for medical properties.

      Or ever tested or used for modern medical purposes.

      So why would they want to use this fossil to cure disease?? How would they even know or suspect or hope?it might be a cure?

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    2. FFF Mentor
      2016-03-10T01:09:40+10:00Added an answer on March 10, 2016 at 1:09 am

      Hello, too many things in this logline,
      I suggest you to focus on the main pillars of the story. What is the true inciting incident? In your kind of movie usually the inciting incident is when the monster shows up.
      Then what is the true goal of the main character? Escape is rarely a good gial, it means a passive character. Don’t mention the name of the planet, it means nothing in terms of story. You have a good and original detailed reason to dig a moon, to find a healing fossil, but this is just the matter of one scene, then it seems that the movie become vague undetailed and very conventional.

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