Second Skin
When an out-of-control teen is sentenced to rehab, she's singled out by the patients as a target for their dark and disturbing games. She befriends a violent troublemaker who encourages her to fight back, to unleash her dark side, to become….a killer.
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“When an out-of-control teen is sentenced to rehab and becomes the target of the patients dark and disturbing games, a violent troublemaker encourages her to become a killer.”
Maybe?
Excuse my presumption, but it’s just easier for me to tell you exactly how I would write that than to make suggestions on what I would do differently.
That’s great thanks!
I would agree with Lucius’ log line more as it is less wordy and still tells us exactly what we need to know. A lot of potential in the idea and the log line really does sum it up. The uses of the words ‘dark and disturbing’ next to ‘games’ really adds to the intrigue as they can be seen as different and ultimately cause conflict. Tighten it up slightly, remove unnecessary words and you’re on to a good one.
Thanks for your comments! This is such a great website, if only there was something similar for pitches/synopsis!!
“An out-of-control teen sentenced to rehab becomes a target for the paitients dark and disturbing games, until a violent troublemaker encourages her to become a killer.”