Logliner
Posted: 2017-11-24T17:17:27+10:00 In:

When broke indie movie-maker and his friends heads into a desert to shot found footage horror movie, they stumble upon a real monster and have to fight to survive.

When broke indie movie-maker and his friends heads into a desert to shot found footage horror movie, they stumble upon a real monster and have to fight to survive.
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    4 Reviews

    1. Samurai

      Is this a short-shock or a feature-length concept?
      They have to fight to survive? Yeah, that is basically what happens in every horror movie. What seperates your pitch from others out there?
      What is the theme of your story?

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    2. Singularity

      Agreed with Savinh0.

      What is unique about this monster or group of characters? More importantly, what will the filmmaker do to save their lives? Or in other words, what is the main action he will take to defeat the monster?

      Lastly comment (and very important for loglines); GRAMMAR…

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    3. Singularity

      Nir and SavinhO are giving good advice. As it reads now, it is simply Blair Witch in the desert, adding a few specifics will help separate your story from that story.

      Monster is vague. What monster? Is it a giant ant, Bigfoot, an alien out for human brains? It doesn’t add that many words to name the monster. It will help to be specific.

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    4. Singularity

      Also, does you indie movie director have a goal? Is he about to lose his home? Is his wife making him quit unless he makes a hit film? (She has given him 10 years to follow his dream, now with only a few months left this is his last chance) Is he about to lose his company?

      The lead having a goal could also help distinguish your story. (Just a thought)

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