When career tramps, a yachtsman and an ex-actress team up swindling the jet set, revenge threatens when his ex-wife arrives working undercover for the IRS
recluseLogliner
When career tramps, a yachtsman and an ex-actress team up swindling the jet set, revenge threatens when his ex-wife arrives working undercover for the IRS
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When his ex-wife shows up in south beach, a career grifter and his partner’s plan to con billionaire twins is jeopardized unless he can find a way to get rid of her.
Recluse:
Casting around for a successful movie to illustrate what I think your logline needs, I offer for your consideration the movie “The Wedding Crashers”.
The movie is about two professional divorce mediators who crash weddings with bogus identities in order to pick up women for one night stands. This is similar to your duo who crash the jet set with bogus identities in order to swindle them.
And in both stories the characters have an initial, Act 1, objective goal — and in both cases it’s the wrong goal.
In “The Wedding Crashers” the initial objective goal is motivated by the character flaw: their profession has made them cynical about marriage; they are afraid to make themselves emotionally vulnerable by taking a risk for love.
But crashing weddings while avoiding emotional commitment is not the plot for the movie — it is only the setup of the initial situation that illustrates the character flaw.
The plot of “Wedding Crashers” — the inciting incident — kicks into gear when one of the dudes falls in love with a woman he meets while crashing a wedding. This is a direct challenge to his character flaw. And it compels the character to a new objective goal which becomes the plot for the rest of the movie.
Now then. I don’t know what you conceive as the fundamental character flaw of our duplicitous duo, but whatever it is, the inciting incident needs to directly attack it. The inciting incident of your story needs to be the catalyst for the character arc; it initiates the dramatic process, forces the duo (at least one of them) to adopt a new objective goal. An objective goal that will drive the plot.
And that objective goal needs to be stated in the logline.
So what character flaw is attacked when the guy’s ex shows up? And what must he do about it — what becomes his objective goal?
As I’ve said before, I think you have?most of the ingredients for an entertaining movie — interesting characters in an interesting situation. ?Now you need a recipe — a plot — to properly combine and bake them into a successful script.
fwiw
The issue I have is the world Tramp. I find a disconnect between that and the Jetset. A tramp I see as a homeless person, no money to maintain appearances and wouldn’t get close enough to the Jetset to con them.
Is there a better word that isn’t as contradicting and would paint a better image. Perhaps your story does have them as down and out.
Because you have 3 mains characters, it takes an awful lot of word space before we make it to?the inciting incident. And it doesn’t contribute to?much tension/anticipation.
The sentence structure suggests the yachtsman is the main character, so leave out the other ‘main characters’.
Rework the logline?following the advice on this site: “When his ex-wife IRS agent threatens to stop him from swindling the jet set, a yachtsman must …”
You see, we need to have that goal DPG was talking about.
Also, I’d like to have a little more detail about the yachtsman.
I hope this helps!
Like I said before, I like the characters, but…
…the concept still doesn’t have a plot. The logline only sets up a situation.
What specifically is their objective goal? ?What exactly must they do in response to the threat?