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Mike PedleySingularity
When Christmas HQ is to be torn down due to a lack of belief, a diffident new Santa rallies the other Santas to get children believing again, but when nothing raises the belief-ometer he must find the real cause before Christmas morning.
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Is someone or something actively tearing down Christmas HQ, or does it fall apart when the belief-ometer drops below a certain level?
What propels the diffident Santa to rally the other Santas? Why him and not one of the others? Wouldn’t the cause that sets the diffident Santa in motion be the story’s inciting incident?
Doesn’t someone need to save the day by Christmas Eve, before Santa Starts his rounds? By Christmas morning the presents have all been distributed.
“On the verge of bankruptcy and an elf revolt, the new Santa has one week to discover why no one believes in Christmas in order to raise the belief-o-meter, and save Christmas”
Richiev’s version is simple and works well.
A question that comes to mind is why did children stop believing in the first place?
In other words, it would be great to include a unique antagonist in the logline. It could be a pop culture icon that’s captured the youth’s imagination, an addictive social media platform or a video game manufacturer.