Retna 9000
AlexpsmithPenpusher
When education is privatised, a resolute teacher must delve into a world of shady dealings between the government and a pharmaceuticals company to prevent a world takeover.
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Privatizing education is confusing as an inciting incident because I don’t strait away understand its implications on teachers.
More so what is the connection between this event and a government’s effort to take over the world with a pharmaceutical company?
Lastly what does taking over the world mean? What will it look like? What does shady dealings mean? What dealings exactly?
These are too vague as descriptions for a logline and as a result the reader is left wondering what the stakes are exactly.
Hope this helps.
I’m sorry, isn’t 50% of education already privatised and/or church run? Do you mean:
When Big Pharma is given responsibility for funding schools, a drug-free teacher embarks on a crusade to uphold the Convention on the Rights of the Child and prevent the zombiefication of youth.
(Sounds like a documentary)