Mind Set
KnightriderMentor
When experimental mind control technology is stolen, a cold and ruthless assassin is hired to retrieve it and kill the thief, but the more he discovers, the more he realizes he stole it.
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This was kinda my original take on the idea, the agent who never actually ventures out for himself, kinda acts like a cocksure badass when his life isn’t really on the line, as he is controlling people from far away, suddenly doesn’t have a choice and his life is on the line whether he likes it or not.
When an inexperienced government agent, who uses mind control technology to complete his missions via proxies, is made to kill his own team, he’ll have to face the reality of putting his own life on the line in order to recover the technology before it is used on a global scale.
This was kinda my original take on the idea, the agent who never actually ventures out for himself, kinda acts like a cocksure badass when his life isn’t really on the line, as he is controlling people from far away, suddenly doesn’t have a choice and his life is on the line whether he likes it or not.
When an inexperienced government agent, who uses mind control technology to complete his missions via proxies, is made to kill his own team, he’ll have to face the reality of putting his own life on the line in order to recover the technology before it is used on a global scale.
In either case make sure the inciting incident differs from the norm for him. This would be the norm established in act one to which both MC and audience by into.
The question is what would make for a more interesting (marketable/sellable) story?
An unclear norm shrouded in mystery with a potential twist or a seemingly clearly defined norm with a sharp change of state. Would Ridley Scott had been able to make Blade Runner without the precedent of Alien I can’t say but in todays over saturated market an uncredited writer would have a better chance of selling the later.
In either case make sure the inciting incident differs from the norm for him. This would be the norm established in act one to which both MC and audience by into.
The question is what would make for a more interesting (marketable/sellable) story?
An unclear norm shrouded in mystery with a potential twist or a seemingly clearly defined norm with a sharp change of state. Would Ridley Scott had been able to make Blade Runner without the precedent of Alien I can’t say but in todays over saturated market an uncredited writer would have a better chance of selling the later.
Thank you for both of your comments. I will say I had originally wrote a logline, that I ended up scrapping, that started with him discovering his mind was controlled, but as I played with the story from that starting point, I just felt it was always leaning to him not knowing, and allowing for that twist when he does discover what happened, and he may have, regardless of the fact he wasn’t in control, killed his friends, partners etc.
Yep, coming up with the how and the why is something I am working towards, was he set up to take the fall as at the start he was perfect to do so, maybe he stumbled onto a plan, or was simply hired because he was seen as weak and controllable and thus easily manipulated, these are all elements I am working on.
However, as I say I love the feedback it is a great help.
Thank you for both of your comments. I will say I had originally wrote a logline, that I ended up scrapping, that started with him discovering his mind was controlled, but as I played with the story from that starting point, I just felt it was always leaning to him not knowing, and allowing for that twist when he does discover what happened, and he may have, regardless of the fact he wasn’t in control, killed his friends, partners etc.
Yep, coming up with the how and the why is something I am working towards, was he set up to take the fall as at the start he was perfect to do so, maybe he stumbled onto a plan, or was simply hired because he was seen as weak and controllable and thus easily manipulated, these are all elements I am working on.
However, as I say I love the feedback it is a great help.
I see it differently. I see the protagonist beginning from a state of total ignorance about his past involvement with the technology. (He could have been a guinea pig in a protocol testing the technology, and his memory was purged afterwards.) All he — and the audience knows — is that he’s a professional assassin who has been hired to do a dirty job.
He descends into the rabbit hole of a Looking Glass world where things are not as they seem. By a gradual process of discovery,he goes from ignorance to knowledge of his past.
The challenge is to come with an explanation of why the player is being played. Why is he being set up like this? What is the conspiracy behind the mission he has been given?
Think “Blade Runner”. Why was Deckard tapped to go after the replicants? Because he’s the best. Why is he the best? (What doesn’t he know about himself?)
I see it differently. I see the protagonist beginning from a state of total ignorance about his past involvement with the technology. (He could have been a guinea pig in a protocol testing the technology, and his memory was purged afterwards.) All he — and the audience knows — is that he’s a professional assassin who has been hired to do a dirty job.
He descends into the rabbit hole of a Looking Glass world where things are not as they seem. By a gradual process of discovery,he goes from ignorance to knowledge of his past.
The challenge is to come with an explanation of why the player is being played. Why is he being set up like this? What is the conspiracy behind the mission he has been given?
Think “Blade Runner”. Why was Deckard tapped to go after the replicants? Because he’s the best. Why is he the best? (What doesn’t he know about himself?)
Sounds like the story and therefore logline should start with him realising his mind was taken over by someone else and he was forced to steal the device. This was an event that differs from the norm for him and forced him to take action.
Hope this helps.
Sounds like the story and therefore logline should start with him realising his mind was taken over by someone else and he was forced to steal the device. This was an event that differs from the norm for him and forced him to take action.
Hope this helps.
I guess it would be the mystery of how it was stolen. The fact it was experimental mind control tech, I would say once he realises he stole it, he will then have to figure out who made him take it and why.
I guess it would be the mystery of how it was stolen. The fact it was experimental mind control tech, I would say once he realises he stole it, he will then have to figure out who made him take it and why.
Your logline sounds interesting, but I think you need to include something about what drives the story forward – clearly he’s not going to kill himself.
Your logline sounds interesting, but I think you need to include something about what drives the story forward – clearly he’s not going to kill himself.