When FBI agent went to Niger to investigate the death of four America soldiers killed Niger ambush, get into quagmire.
bekiLogliner
When FBI agent went to Niger to investigate the death of four America soldiers killed Niger ambush, get into quagmire.
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This is not a credible scenario.? An FBI agent wouldn’t go to Niger.? FBI agents have no legal authority to work outside the United States,? ?Nor the expertise to investigate a military operation.
The Defense Department and CIA do, and for darn sure they would be vigilant in defending their turf against FBI meddling.? Just as the FBI is hyper-vigilant in defending its US turf against illegal meddling by the military and the CIA.
Always write an adjective for your lead. Is he a rogue FBI agent? Is he a former FBI agent. Is he an FBI agent on holiday, who could not let go of a case and? decides to go solve it in his spare time? I would change the word went to goes and would replace the word quagmire with a word that non writers don’t have to Google. If you want us to get excited then tell us what the dangerous situation is.. Good luck Beki!
Better to make him a father or brother of a victim, some one who has personal stakes.
Or better yet, because it amps up the risk factor and difficulty, a mother or sister of a victim.
Whatever, there also needs to be a motivation. The most obvious is that the protagonist thinks the official report is a coverup.
When One of the solider fined little daughter when she vanished after beaten by her radical father(member of ISIS militant) by watching the child movie(western) and the solider taking back to home to her mother
Beki:
I stand in error (partially).
The FBI can investigate overseas when American citizens are involved with the permission of the foreign country.? The FBI can’t just go into a foreign country where it has not been invited and is unwelcome by the foreign government– that’s a violation of national sovereignty.
And? the FBI can investigate cases abroad where they are also military personnel.? But that’s not standard operating procedure.? It happens in cases where either 1] the military requests their services; or 2]? some one far above the pay grade of an FBI agent makes the determination that the military has bungled the investigation and an outside organization is needed.? The order would have to be issued by the Attorney General and if the Secretary of Defense does not like it, then the President would make the final call.? (There is always behind the scenes political infighting in these cases.)
All that political and bureaucratic machinations aside, It seems to me your logline is premature.? The investigation, AFAIK,? has not been completed.? (Has it?) I assume you wish to write a story based upon real events,? Well, events seem to be still playing out.? The 2nd and 3rd acts are still works in progress.?
When One of the solider fined little daughter when she vanished after beaten by her radical father(member of ISIS militant) by watching the child movie(western) and the solider taking back to home to her mother
One thing I see about your loglines; you are writing in the past tense but scrips and loglines are written in the present tense because things happen on the screen, right now.
Just some helpful advice