Flight to South Cove
Leon DavisLogliner
When her prison transport plane crashes, a lawyer wrongfully accused of fraud, must avoid the FBI and escape from the vengeful husband who framed her to realize her dream.
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In my mind better to re post a new version of a logline under the same original posted comments.
Realizing her dream seams unrelated to the plot at hand if she is escaping her husband and trying to prove her innocence.
As previously mentioned this is very similar to The Fugitive but instead of only law enforcement after the MC it’s the spouse as well.
It seams like the stakes are not high enough if the husband framed her of fraud what will he do if he catches her again? Frame her for tax evasion? But if he were to try and kill her or someone she loves then the stakes would be primal and clearer to anyone reading the logline.
In my mind better to re post a new version of a logline under the same original posted comments.
Realizing her dream seams unrelated to the plot at hand if she is escaping her husband and trying to prove her innocence.
As previously mentioned this is very similar to The Fugitive but instead of only law enforcement after the MC it’s the spouse as well.
It seams like the stakes are not high enough if the husband framed her of fraud what will he do if he catches her again? Frame her for tax evasion? But if he were to try and kill her or someone she loves then the stakes would be primal and clearer to anyone reading the logline.
Realize her dream (What dream) doesn’t really help the logline. Here is the logline without that line.
“When her prison transport plane crashes, a lawyer wrongfully accused of fraud, must avoid the FBI and escape from the vengeful husband who framed her.”
Realize her dream (What dream) doesn’t really help the logline. Here is the logline without that line.
“When her prison transport plane crashes, a lawyer wrongfully accused of fraud, must avoid the FBI and escape from the vengeful husband who framed her.”
First of all, I don’t know what you mean by ‘prison transport plane’. Is she being transported to or from the prison, or between prisons? Is she going there in the capacity as a lawyer or as a prisoner? I’m confused by the event that sets your story into motion.
You MUST be less vague about the protagonist’s goal. I don’t know what “realize the dream” looks like, so I can’t visualise what type of movie you’re thinking about writing / making, nor do I see what your character is going to do for the middle hour or so of the movie (aside from avoid the authorities). What is the objective?
First of all, I don’t know what you mean by ‘prison transport plane’. Is she being transported to or from the prison, or between prisons? Is she going there in the capacity as a lawyer or as a prisoner? I’m confused by the event that sets your story into motion.
You MUST be less vague about the protagonist’s goal. I don’t know what “realize the dream” looks like, so I can’t visualise what type of movie you’re thinking about writing / making, nor do I see what your character is going to do for the middle hour or so of the movie (aside from avoid the authorities). What is the objective?
Thanks for your time again.
Can you tell me where to post the updated version?
Thanks for your time again.
Can you tell me where to post the updated version?
Just re post an updated logline under the same conversation of the original post. Other wise it’s counter productive and hogs the board.
Just re post an updated logline under the same conversation of the original post. Other wise it’s counter productive and hogs the board.
When her prison plane crashes, a lawyer wrongfully accused of fraud, must escape a murderer trying to silence her and eliminate the vicious husband who framed her, to achieve vindication.
When her prison plane crashes, a lawyer wrongfully accused of fraud, must escape a murderer trying to silence her and eliminate the vicious husband who framed her, to achieve vindication.
When her prison plane crashes, a lawyer wrongfully accused of fraud, must escape a murderer trying to silence her and eliminate the vicious husband who framed her, to achieve vindication.
When her prison plane crashes, a lawyer wrongfully accused of fraud, must escape a murderer trying to silence her and eliminate the vicious husband who framed her, to achieve vindication.
When her prison plane crashes, a lawyer wrongfully accused of fraud, must escape a murderer trying to silence her and eliminate the vicious husband who framed her, to achieve vindication.
When her prison plane crashes, a lawyer wrongfully accused of fraud, must escape a murderer trying to silence her and eliminate the vicious husband who framed her, to achieve vindication.
When her prison plane crashes, a lawyer wrongfully accused of fraud, must escape a murderer trying to silence her and eliminate the vicious husband who framed her, to achieve vindication.
When her prison plane crashes, a lawyer wrongfully accused of fraud, must escape a murderer trying to silence her and eliminate the vicious husband who framed her, to achieve vindication.
“When her prison plane crashes, a lawyer wrongfully accused of fraud, must escape a murderer trying to silence her and eliminate the vicious husband who framed her.”
“When her prison plane crashes, a lawyer wrongfully accused of fraud, must escape a murderer trying to silence her and eliminate the vicious husband who framed her.”
When her prison transport plane crashes, a lawyer unjustly convicted of fraud escapes to retrieve the proof of her innocence while trying to evade the manhunt supervised by the corrupt U.S Marshall who frame her: her husband.
When her prison transport plane crashes, a lawyer unjustly convicted of fraud escapes to retrieve the proof of her innocence while trying to evade the manhunt supervised by the corrupt U.S Marshall who frame her: her husband.
When her prison plane crashes, a lawyer wrongfully arrested for fraud, must escape a murderer trying to silence her and eliminate the vicious husband who framed her in order to retrieve the proof of her innocence.
When her prison plane crashes, a lawyer wrongfully arrested for fraud, must escape a murderer trying to silence her and eliminate the vicious husband who framed her in order to retrieve the proof of her innocence.
I like how you are making progress on this, guys!
I like how you are making progress on this, guys!
When her prison plane crashes, a lawyer wrongfully arrested for fraud, must evade the FBI long enough to eliminate the vicious husband who framed her and prove her innocence.
When her prison plane crashes, a lawyer wrongfully arrested for fraud, must evade the FBI long enough to eliminate the vicious husband who framed her and prove her innocence.
Hi Leon
This draft of the lognline is shorter but reads the same as the previous version. The MC, her position in society, her flaw, the inciting incident, the antagonist and her goals remain the same.
Previous comments have outlined a problem with your inciting incident and the MC goals.
Maybe try experimenting with new character descriptions and different inciting incidents.
For example, according to the current draft of the logline, I think the inciting incident is the plain crash. This implies that her normal “day to day” life, before the story starts, is being a prisoner and a sudden opportunity to break for freedom changed that.
What if her normal “day to day” life was being a lawyer and being arrested or framed is what changed that? This strait away implies she needs to fight a corrupt detective or evil ex husband to prove her innocence. This also gives her a clear and decisive goal, it even gives you an obligatory scene at the end both without needing specification in the logline.
Hi Leon
This draft of the lognline is shorter but reads the same as the previous version. The MC, her position in society, her flaw, the inciting incident, the antagonist and her goals remain the same.
Previous comments have outlined a problem with your inciting incident and the MC goals.
Maybe try experimenting with new character descriptions and different inciting incidents.
For example, according to the current draft of the logline, I think the inciting incident is the plain crash. This implies that her normal “day to day” life, before the story starts, is being a prisoner and a sudden opportunity to break for freedom changed that.
What if her normal “day to day” life was being a lawyer and being arrested or framed is what changed that? This strait away implies she needs to fight a corrupt detective or evil ex husband to prove her innocence. This also gives her a clear and decisive goal, it even gives you an obligatory scene at the end both without needing specification in the logline.