Penpusher
Posted: 2015-08-14T19:38:31+10:00 In:

When her rebellious daughter is abducted by a sinister cult, a desperate mother must follow the dangerous cult leader into the wilderness to save her.

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    3 Reviews

    1. Samurai

      A single mother joins a cult of submissive women to rescue her abducted teenage daughter and take down the dangerous cult leader.

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    2. Singularity

      As Karel said.

      The inciting incident “When her rebellious daughter is abducted by a sinister cult” has promising prospects, but what does “follow into the wilderness” really mean? If it means, she must literally trek to a wilderness to locate her daughter, well, that’s mildly interesting.

      But much more interesting to me would be a story where she must join the cult, feign blind loyalty to the cult leader and submission to the cult doctrines. She has to convincingly fake it as a true believer in order to locate and rescue her daughter.

      A complicating factor in terms of her character might be that she is a thoroughly modern, secular, militant and atheist feminist: in order to save her daughter she has to violate everything she is and believes in.

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    3. Logliner

      In essence a great logline. Structurally sound, and a story with high stakes.

      A few points, though:

      I like the ‘rebellious daughter’, but ‘desperate mother’ doesn’t really give us much about the mother, as we would expect any mother to be desperate. So it is not really seen as a moral flaw. Given that she is the Main Character, her flaw is effectively more important than the daughter’s.

      “Follow” can mean two things: literally travel into the wilderness, or join the cult. I expect it to be the first, although this may not be the most exciting thing. It doesn’t really give us much info about what is to happen in Act 2.

      I hope all this helps.

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