Samurai
Posted: 2019-04-28T13:32:24+10:00 In:

When his gay cruise ship is invaded by terrorists, a veteran turned drag queen must use his skills to take down the thugs and save the day.

When his gay cruise ship is invaded by terrorists, a veteran turned drag queen must use his skills to take down the thugs and save the day.
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    9 Reviews

    1. Logliner

      Agree with the above comment, the terroists goal, why did they invade the ship? Is due to it being a gay ship or does it to for them to gain money somehow or?

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    2. Logliner

      I would definitely watch this, and unlike some of the other feedback, I think this is very timely in a world where RuPaul’s Drag Race is very popular. I think you could possibly tighten up the logline by making his goal clearer – e.g. ‘before the terrorists do X’. Also, would it be stronger if the drag queen’s former life as a veteran is secret and only revealed due to this conflict? That would also add in some conflict with people he knows on the ship. Is it his ship, or just a ship he’s performing on? Does he have to lead a band of drag queens against the terrorists? if so, I would DEFINITELY watch it.

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    3. Samurai

      I agree that Logline says it all, but terrorists in a comedy?? How about jewel theives? I imagine a lot of bling going on!

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    4. Samurai

      ‘Take down the thugs and save the day’, this sounds a little too familiar for me, perhaps be more specific on the terrorists intentions and why they are there on the ship. What are these skills you wrote about? Must he utilize both his soldier training, and his skills learned from becoming a drag queen? ‘Must use his skills’ Why must he? Does he have a lover on the boat? Is he having war flashbacks and his instincts take over? Is he convinced to by others on the ship?

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    5. Singularity

      When a gay cruise ship is invaded by terrorists, an ex-Navy Seal celebrating his transition to a transsexual must use his old combat skills to save the day.
      (28 words)

      And I think it would look fabulous as a comedy.? (Make the terrorists fundamentalist Christians.)

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    6. Singularity

      I think this logline tells us everything we need to know

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    7. Singularity

      Sounds like Under Siege meets The Bird Cage…

      I’m not clear on what a gay cruise ship is. Do you mean this is a cruise that only members of the LGBTQI+ (and whatever other acronyms are supposed to go at the end of that…) can purchase tickets to? That’s discrimination against straight people, isn’t it? How are customers meant to prove that they’re gay?

      How does the gay part of the cruise ship relate to the plot? If so, in what way does the gay aspect inform the story?

       

       

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    8. Uberwriter

      How’s that a comedy?

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    9. Samurai

      Thanks CNI!

      You were the first to post a new Logline after I did the site update. Things seem to be working. 😉

      Now, perhaps add an avatar (photo) to your account. That looks better on the mobile version of the site.

      Cheers,

      Karel

      PS: Feedback to the logline? Format is near-perfect. Would it work as a story? Not sure… We’re in a world where the PC norms are very much in turmoil, and what looks like the flavour of the day today, may be offensive to half the world tomorrow.

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