When slobby Jim and well-groomed Leo move into student housing together, their initial personality clash evolves into an unlikely friendship as they share the triumphs and humiliations of life in Sydney.

Thanks for your comment! Good point about the names, i could stand to lose them.

Since writing that logline I’ve noticed the big problems with it and re-worked it:

‘When country slob Jim moves into student housing with vain, romantic Leo, an unlikely friendship develops as they haplessly pursue their dreams while struggling with the realities of adult life in Sydney.’

It’s been a hard one for me to develop as it is dual protagonists, so it has to be more general but still compelling. I know lots of script analysts (including Karel) advise against a dual protagonist idea when you’re just starting out but if you can’t break the rules in a webseries, when can you?

So I’ve tried to include an inciting incident and a goal in the new logline. While there is not antagonist, there is an obstacle that impedes the pursuit of their goal- the difficulty coming to terms with adult life. Think Broad City, The Inbetweeners etc.

It is indeed an Odd Couple scenario. As you mention, the two characters do start out very incompatibly however the idea is that, over the course of the first episode, they come to understand each other and connect. However they are still very different people so conflict will be generated through their differing personalities and also through being young uni students trying to find themselves. From financial burdens to family expectations and their own dreams.

I hear what you are saying about desiring higher stakes etc. in the presence of the logline, however this will change from episode to episode, as will their personal challenges. Again, take a look at the premise for comedies like Broad City, Inbetweeners, Flight of the Concords. Self-contained episodes where there are some ongoing threads.