Penpusher
Posted: 2015-08-28T00:01:47+10:00 In:

When the first time travel ship crash lands in the prehistoric era, the crew have 3 days to fix the ship before the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs strikes ? exactly where they are stranded.

One Way Ticket to Annihilation

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    11 Reviews

    1. Penpusher

      okay so I’m having a bit of fun with this one, to see if it has legs. It just popped in my head and I had to share it.

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    2. Logliner

      I’m not an expert, but would remove the dinosaurs. OMO

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    3. Penpusher

      Why’s that?

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    4. Logliner

      I think it is too much of a buzz word, i would try to put something more original – like “intelligent and self controlled asteroid” again only my opinion 🙂

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    5. Mentor

      Hello,

      a Main Character would help. Try to find the most interesting person to get stuck in the past.

      And you should clarify the mood of the movie (if it’s an action comedy as I think yoou should try to write a little more funny logline).

      “learn they must fix” is not a very good expression, it is obvious they must fix the ship to save themselves but I hope it is not a film about some mechanical discussions about the time travel engine and how to fix it (this should be a quick scene). I mean try to make clear what actions the Main Character must do, something visual. Do they need to find uranium or something on the prehistoric earth ?

      Maybe something :
      “When a commercial time travel bus crashes in the prehistoric era, an irresolute history teacher and his class have three days to fix the vehicle before the asteroid who wiped out the dinosaurs hit the earth”.

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    6. Singularity

      When the first time travel ship crash lands in the prehistoric era, the crew have 3 days to fix the ship before the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs strikes — exactly where they are stranded. (36 words)

      I think the concept is strong enough that you don’t have to sweat the details about designating an MC. Who was the MC in Apollo 13? Wasn’t it a team effort — an ensemble movie?

      It goes without saying that the captain of the time travel ship would be the default leader, ergo, the obvious main character when it comes time to cast the movie.

      Ditto, imho, for gilding the lilly of this concept with a glaring character flaw. What were the character flaws of the crew of Apollo 13? As if they needed more problems and complications than they already had to heighten tension and suspense and invoke audience interest in and empathy for the characters.

      Which, btw, is the primary dramatic purpose of a character flaw: to ratchet up tension, heighten suspense, to strengthen the audience’s emotional bond to the character, intensify the emotional catharsis of the character’s struggle and denouement (oxytocin moments!) by worrying even more that he/she will fail.

      Of course, landing back in the time when the asteroid will wipe out the dinosaurs, paving the ecological landscape for the rise of mammals and eventually homo sapiens raises all kinds of technical and existential questions, but like Older Joe says in “Looper”: I don’t want to talk about time travel because if we start talking about it then we’re going to be here all day talking about it, making diagrams with straws.”

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    7. I don’t know why but I’d take this more seriously if it was a comedy flick

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    8. Singularity

      Me, too.

      As soon as I read the logline, I was reminded of the Season 6 Halloween special Simpson show, the “Time and Punishment” episode where Homer travels back to the age of the dinosaurs, does something stupid (Doh!), comes back to the present realizes his blunder has altered the world for the worse, goes back in time, tries to undo the consequences of his mistake only to (Doh!) make another one. Over (Doh!) and over (Doh!).

      It’s a classic, one of my favorites.

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    9. Logliner

      I was reminded of the Doctor Who serial ‘Earthshock’ from 1982.

      So I guess it could go either way…

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    10. Loved the ticking clock this has it was a great twist and adds some original tension to an otherwise unoriginal idea! Would definitely watch this!

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    11. Logliner

      I like the concept.? I’d go and see the movie over the next Jurassic Park any day – as long as there’s not too many lazer gun fights, explosions etc.

      I reckon give it an interesting main character, with stakes besides self-preservation – maybe if he dies it has worldwide consequences.? And of course his daughter will be upset if he dies.? Cheers 🙂

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