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LoglinesRUS
Posted: October 10, 20132013-10-10T05:28:23+10:00 2013-10-10T05:28:23+10:00In: Public

When the NSA director admits to domestic spying then solicits the aid of the best hackers, a small band of hackers decide to fight what they feel is wrong only to be entwined in an international terrorist threat and discover their initial instincts were wrong.

Blackhats

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    3 Reviews

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    1. andrewclau Logliner
      2013-10-10T09:25:53+10:00Added an answer on October 10, 2013 at 9:25 am

      LoglinesRUS – I’m confused by your logline. First of all, it’s really long at 45 words. Can you clarify what the inciting incident is? Who is the main protagonist of your story? You refer to a small band of hackers but is there a leader? What is it they are fighting that is “wrong?” What are the stakes? What will happen if the terrorist threat is not stopped?

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    2. Nicholas Andrew Halls Samurai
      2013-10-10T10:08:16+10:00Added an answer on October 10, 2013 at 10:08 am

      This is a concept, not a logline. As andrewclau says above, you haven’t identified any of the important points that would allow us to understand your story – the most important of which is surely a protagonist (the who) and a clearly stated objective goal (“to fight what they feel is wrong” is WAY too vague. What does that look like on the screen? How will I as a potential investor in your product be able to tell whether your hero has or hasn’t achieved their goal?)

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    3. Christopher F. Mills
      2013-10-11T23:38:52+10:00Added an answer on October 11, 2013 at 11:38 pm

      you used ‘wrong’ twice. that’s wrong. 🙂 it’s vague. tighten it up. identify.

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