Logliner
Posted: 2019-02-15T13:27:52+10:00 In:

When their father dies, Jackie goes home to clean out the house and her basement dwelling, incel brother.

When their father dies, Jackie goes home to clean out the house and her basement dwelling, incel brother.
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    4 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      Agreed with all the above comments.

      Check out the ‘Formula’ tab on the top bar – a logline needs to describe a goal.
      What is it your character must achieve?

      • 0
    2. Penpusher

      I agree with the above reviewers, and it isn’t clear why and if she is cleaning her brother.

      • 0
    3. Uberwriter

      You have done what i call a ?shopping list?. ?You have told us an event(s) and not the story.

      what is learnt?
      what is hard?
      what is the conflicts (internal. External)?

      here is one:

      Cleaning her dad?s house after his death a woman learns….. so she…. but…..stops her, forcing her to….. to achieve outcome.

      • 0
    4. Singularity

      What is the main conflict of the story?
      What is standing in the way of the lead character?

      • 0