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Presario2200Logliner
Posted: July 30, 20162016-07-30T12:22:30+10:00 2016-07-30T12:22:30+10:00In: Public

When they cry to the Lord because of oppressors, he will send them a savior, and will defend and deliver them.

When they cry to the Lord because of oppressors, he will send them a savior, and will defend and deliver them.
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    4 Reviews

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    1. Richiev Singularity
      2016-07-30T13:33:04+10:00Added an answer on July 30, 2016 at 1:33 pm

      Who is they? If it’s the Jews, it’s alright to name them.

      However from a logline prospective ‘they’ make a bad lead character
      You should choose one lead character and giver him or her a goal.

      Also, who are the ‘oppressors’? You should be more specific.
      How are they being oppressed? What do the ‘oppressors’ do?

      I would try adding a few adjectives and specifics in order to draw the reader in.

      Hope that helped, good luck with this

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    2. [Deleted User]
      2016-07-30T16:56:19+10:00Added an answer on July 30, 2016 at 4:56 pm

      This is one of the vaguest loglines I have read on here. Who is they? Who is the lord (I’m guessing God) and if it is you’re just going to retell the story of Jesus? I’m sure the blurb on the back of the bible would have a better logline than this, sorry but there isn’t even a hint of a story here.

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    3. CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter
      2016-07-31T08:53:19+10:00Added an answer on July 31, 2016 at 8:53 am

      No matter how huge the story it has to be told from a single point of view. Someone does something. ?Even if the POV is gods.

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    4. Presario2200 Logliner
      2016-07-31T13:36:32+10:00Added an answer on July 31, 2016 at 1:36 pm

      It is from the following –

      Isaiah 19:20

      New Revised Standard Version, Anglicised Catholic Edition (NRSVACE)

      20?It will be a sign and a witness to the Lord of hosts in the land of Egypt; when they cry to the Lord because of oppressors, he will send them a saviour, and will defend and deliver them.

      I was not sure what to specifically use as a log line.

      In this case, “they” would be “the Jews” however, to a larger extent, it would be all of humanity.

      The “”saviour” is obviously Jesus.

      The “oppressors” are those people, places, and things opressing humanity. Just think about what you have been hearing on the news lately.

      I am not just planning on a retelling of Jesus. What I have in mind has never been done the way that I intend to do it. It is a full gospel story.

      As far as who is telling the story, it is from the point of view of the narrator –

      Seeing that many others have undertaken to draw up accounts of the events that have reached their fulfillment among us, as these were handed down to us by those who from the outset were eyewitnesses and ministers of the word, I in my turn, after carefully going over the whole story from the beginning, have decided to write an ordered account for you, Theophilus, so that your Excellency may learn how well founded the teaching is that you have received. – Prologue I (Luke 1:1-4)

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