Whenever a pain in the ass hitman sleeps, he always wakes up to a new future in the middle of his next hit until he decides to stay up and abandon mission, and discovers a thieves? guild?s plot to rob Big Pharm of a drug that grants immortal health, no sleep required.
EethanSamurai
Whenever a pain in the ass hitman sleeps, he always wakes up to a new future in the middle of his next hit until he decides to stay up and abandon mission, and discovers a thieves? guild?s plot to rob Big Pharm of a drug that grants immortal health, no sleep required.
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Agreed with all the above comments.
In order to help simplify the concept, I think best if you choose one job in which he wakes up and tell the story around that. This way you can use the first time he wakes up in the middle of a future mission as his inciting incident.
Yeah, too complicated. ? ?I’m intrigued by a hit man who always wakes up in the middle of his next hit, but the rest of it just doesn’t seem make sense.
To really score big, the thieves have to steal the formula — not just the drug —so they can reproduce a generic knock-off. ?But isn’t that just a matter of chemistry? ?All they need is to analyze a sample and then replicate it?
I don’t think I fully understand it, but from what I gather is basically that a hitman goes to sleep and then somehow wakes during his next mission. Alright, so the logline needs to be simple. You should clarify the inciting incident which seems to be the hitman abandoning his mission. Try to just cut out the long explanation of his ability, it just seems too complicated in the logline. ?If I understand correctly, then perhaps you could say something like: “When a hitman who is transported to his next mission whenever he falls asleep decides to stay awake to avoid a mission…” ?And is the hitman’s goal to take this drug so he never has to sleep? Or is it to stop this plot? State what the hitman’s goal is.
Hello,
I don’t?think I?understand this logline… it seems a very complicated story.