Penpusher
Posted: 2019-07-03T00:10:19+10:00 In:

While on a routine mission, the angel of death awakens the wrath of the apocalypse and must travel through hell to find his redemption.

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    3 Reviews

    1. Penpusher

      Semantics notwithstanding, it took me a couple reads before your logline began to make sense. For a cold reader who would inevitably read this script, this logline would need some punching up. The wording is a little tricky which could make this somewhat hard to comprehend, which might beget questions instead of intrigue.

      I am assuming the Angel of Death is the protagonist, right? Is his mission to awaken the apocalypse, or did he do this by accident? Is this Apocalypse a person? Is he trying to stop it and can only do so via Divine Comedy? Or is this an additional conflict on his road to redemption?

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    2. Singularity

      How will traveling through hell help the angel find redemption?

      You might need some sort of specific at this part of the logline.

      Does the angel have a suitcase, take pictures with his iphone and maybe stop at some of the tourist attractions? What does the angel do during his travels through hell?

      Now if the Angel must kill or stop a specific demon in hell that would probably make more sense. If that’s the case you might want to add that specific to your logline.

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    3. Singularity

      I don’t understand what the story is. Technically, the word “apocalypse” refers to an event in Bible prophesy not a person or conscious entity. So how can it be awakened?? What “sin” has the angel of death committed that it needs redemption?? Why does it matter?? Why does the road to redemption lead through hell?? And If the angel of death doesn’t obtain redemption, what are the consequences?? Does that mean the end of death??

      ?

      ?

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