Dysfunction
Lee BrooksPenpusher
While visiting America, a young British academic (who has an inflated sense of his own entitlement) must strive to prevent his liaison with a besotted, underage runaway from being uncovered in order to preserve his much-loved career and evade prison.
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I’m entering my screenplay in the Academy Nicholl Fellowship this week. Although they are obliged to read my script (twice), they have asked for a logline. It doesn’t have to state the genre. Any feedback from the group will be greatly appreciated.
While visiting America, a young, arrogant British academic jeopardizes his career and freedom when he carries on a reckless liaison with an underage runaway.
Fearing confinement in an America prison, a cocky British academic struggles to hide his affair with an underaged nymphomaniac.
Don’t mind the logline. To get rid of the bracketed explanation trying using pompous. It is used a lot to example that type of looking down the nose that British can do.
To avoid prison and save his career a pompous young British academic visiting the USA must hide his liaison with a besotted underage runaway.
After a young british academic is seduced by an underage runaway whilst visiting America, he must hide their relationship to preserve his career and evade prison.
Hope this helps.
Hi Craig. Thanks. I like your take and, yes, a single adjective to state his flaw would be better. Not comfortable with ‘pompous’ as my protagonist is quite charming and natural in manner. To me, that word conjures up someone who others might find off-putting. I might use ‘egotistical’.