Young twin girls in ancient Egypt discover adoption records after their step-mother’s murder and sending a plea to the Pharaoh he is forced to pay for his past karma.
MacBizzoPenpusher
Young twin girls in ancient Egypt discover adoption records after their step-mother’s murder and sending a plea to the Pharaoh he is forced to pay for his past karma.
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“Pay for his past karma” – what does that look like on screen?
The story seems to head in one direction and then suddenly the Pharaoh is introduced and it switches to something else entirely. As Richiev asked – who is the lead character? Once you’ve decided that, write the whole thing from their perspective. I. don’t understand what the Pharaoh has to do with anything at the moment…
Why is this set in ancient Egypt? If you’re going to go so far to set a story in such a specific location and time period I feel like I should understand why. At the moment I don’t see how this would be any different in modern day. I think in my mind, a studio wouldn’t spend the money to set it in ancient Egypt if it didn’t have to be.
What is the plea?
What is the Karma that must be paid for?
Also; who is the lead character, the girls or the Pharaoh? The logline reads like the girls are the lead character, however, it seems like the Pharaoh is the one whom the story is about. He had past bad Karma, he gets a plea from the twin girls now he must do something about his past Karma before something bad happens to him.