Categories: War
There is a saying with a logline "Sell don't Tell".
If you remove "using" onwards you have a pretty good logline. You are selling a story that would make a read want to read more. You have mystery without confusion.
I would remove pacifist from in front of priest as they all take a vow to do no harm. I think it is s but like saying a wet fish. But it's your call.
>>>doesn't matter that it is a true story,
I beg to differ. That it's a true story is a value-added factor; it makes the story more credible, more marketable. ?So I think it ought to be part of the logline.
But I, too, don't see a value-added factor in shoe horning the forger into the logline. ?Nor the resistance group. ?So both can be dropped.?
So if you're pitching your story with dual protagonists than maybe something like:
The true story one-legged female spy and pacifist priest who teamed up to save 5000 Jews from the death camps in occupied France.
( 23 words, ?129 characters , equivalent to ?a .92 tweet* versus 34 words, ?195 characters or 1.39 tweets* in the revised version.)
I don't think "wage a clandestine war" is necessary. It seems to me that it obvious and implicit.
*Note: I started measuring loglines in terms of tweets -- character length as well as word length -- ?when my survey of over 700 loglines revealed that not only was the average word length was truly about 25 words, but the average character length was about 140 characters, the length of a tweet. (And yesterday, a President was inaugurated in the US of A who showed just how successful selling something in 140 character tweets could be. ?In the age of the internet, for better or worse, less is truly more.)
>>>doesn't matter that it is a true story,
I beg to differ. That it's a true story is a value-added factor; it makes the story more credible, more marketable. ?So I think it ought to be part of the logline.
But I, too, don't see a value-added factor in shoe horning the forger into the logline. ?Nor the resistance group. ?So both can be dropped.?
So if you're pitching your story with dual protagonists than maybe something like:
The true story one-legged female spy and pacifist priest who teamed up to save 5000 Jews from the death camps in occupied France.
( 23 words, ?129 characters , equivalent to ?a .92 tweet* versus 34 words, ?195 characters or 1.39 tweets* in the revised version.)
I don't think "wage a clandestine war" is necessary. It seems to me that it obvious and implicit.
*Note: I started measuring loglines in terms of tweets -- character length as well as word length -- ?when my survey of over 700 loglines revealed that not only was the average word length was truly about 25 words, but the average character length was about 140 characters, the length of a tweet. (And yesterday, a President was inaugurated in the US of A who showed just how successful selling something in 140 character tweets could be. ?In the age of the internet, for better or worse, less is truly more.)
