A good looking law student’s privileged lifestyle is turned upside as he’s lured deeper and deeper into the sinister world of Dark Video.

Another big problem with this would be that if the MC is Alistair it would be very hard for the audience to develop empathy for him as a snuff film maker or participator. I personally don't care what happens to people who make such films why would the audience?

Further more if Alistair is the MC you have not yet established a starting point for the story, what is the inciting incident? Why now do something different to the other films they made?

I think better to turn the MC into being Terry you have more scope to tell her story than Alistair's.

I also think there is no need to mention the specific name of the website and explain the function of each of the participants. Just describe the group of college students as snuff film makers and this will tell the reader enough about what they do and who they are.

Hope this helps.

From whose perspective is this story being told, Alistair's or Terri's? In other words, who is the focus of the story?

If the focus is on Terri and the attempt to find her attackers, then she should be the protag in your logline, with her goal being to find the attackers. If the focus is on Alistar and his fellow conspirators, then he should be the protag and the goal should be his desire (albeit conflicted) to make the snuff film.

Based on your synopsis, the main focus seems to be on Alistair, but the fact that you start the story with Terri, not Alistair, and that the reader is kept in the dark about Alistair's involvement with the conspirators implies that the story is told from Terri's perspective.

Thank you so much for all the advise. I've never truly considering the importance of the log line - I'm definitely get it now.

Okay, so the film starts with a girl being attacked by four guys in a forest. They make her take her clothes off and then leave her naked without physically abusing her in anyway. Our main character (Alistair) arrives to find the naked girl and helps her up - firstly to the police station to report the crime and secondly back to her college dorm.

We assume that he has simply helped the girl, but we later learn that he is part of the attackers (his job being the suave good looking night who helps the girls in distress.)

The attack is recorded and ends up on a site called Dark Video.

Dark video is a website that sells exclusive illicit videos of real people being sexually attacked (snuff films) - it operates on something like silk highway - very exclusive and security conscious.

Groups around the world are picked by Dark Video to send in footage. The only kicker for those who send in videos is that it needs to be proven with a case number, hence Alistair's job as saviour and to make sure that the attack gets reported. Our group is based in Cape Town South Africa.

The group that Alistair works with, become more sinister. Dark video's video requirements become more violent. Terri's video becomes the most popular on the site and clients want it as an exclusive - building the tension that they may want to do more to her in the future.

All the while, Terri seeks solace in Alistair's arms and their relationship and their closeness becomes a threat to everybody. Does Alistair, a vain self-serving golden boy take the easy way out or save the girl?

Any suggestions would great.

Thanks again for the help.