A kids’ baseball team smuggles a dead mobster around town to avoid losing their practice field before the big game.

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Mud Alley Midgets

2 reviews

Richiev · Singularity · 58,825 pts

I agree with Nicholas, While 'Weekend at Bernie's' meets 'The Sandlot' is definitely an interesting concept. The logline should reflect how those to separate ideas relate to one another.

Hope that helped, good luck with this!

Nicholas Andrew Halls · Mentor · 8,970 pts

Why? The hook is interesting enough for me to ask, but the logline doesn't give me the information I'd need to really be further intrigued. I don't understand - the stakes are losing their practice field? How does transporting a dead body factor into them losing it, or potentially losing it? Also, who's your protagonist? Who does your audience identify with?