A man at his job in the office, discovers an email that states he has won a free 1 week trip to the millionaire host’s house (which is hidden from civilization). little did he know that the host is an insane psychopathic maniac and tries to harm him and turn him into a panda bear and smuggle him across the US. now it’s up to the main character to escape with his life, find civilization, and get help.

by fighter200 · Mentor · 705 pts 688 views

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The Host

2 reviews

FFF · Maestro · 8,245 pts

Hello, "a man" is too vague as a description for the main character.
You have to focus on the most important elements to make the logline shorter.

For exemple:

"When a clumsy clerk win a week at a millionaire's mansion in the middle of the jungle, he find himself prisoner of his crazy host and must escape before being turned into a panda bear."

And if it's a comedy (I hope so) you should use a funnier style in the logline.

Former member · 114,968 pts

Lol. A panda bear! Now that's original.

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