A nerdy kid from New York City moves to Oakland and tries to get the most popular girl in school to ask him out.

This logline has a clear concept and genre.

What I'm not clear on is why the kid wants the most popular girl in school to ask him out: what's driving him to do this?

I'm also wondering what this kid is up against: who are the kid's rivals? What is his flaw that he must overcome?

And how old are these kids? A 13 year-old trying to get the 17 year-old prom queen to date him is a very different movie compared to two 17 year-olds protagonists.

Also, what's the girl really like? She's popular, but is she nice or does she treat people like dung?

Finally: why mention Oakland and New York City? It doesn't strike me as being important, because it doesn't add much to the characters.

I don't agree that the protagonist's aim to get the most popular girl in school to ask him out would make him passive: I can see it making him extremely active, and force him to change. (I think a similar idea ? outsider kid getting popular girl to ask him out ? was used in Some Kind of Wonderful (1987, writer John Hughes).)

And struggling to get her to ask him is a wimpy, passive. That's being true to his flaw, but his struggle should be to overcome his flaw and ask her out.

And struggling to get her to ask him is a wimpy, passive. That's being true to his flaw, but his struggle should be to overcome his flaw and ask her out.