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Perhaps start with something like this:
A shy young artist from Togo wants to study art, but his parents insist he go to Germany and study finance to secure his large family's future...
But maybe they want him to work and not study. We need to know this. Avoid wordy phrases like 'in order to' when a single word does the job.
Also, real life dictates that if you want to study art, you had better be used to living in near poverty.
Agreed with the above try simplifying it to the main character and what he wants then add in the reason he cant have it. Only after this simplified version add a description of his character.
To help with this try taking out; "who has just made his secondary education wants to begin studying the art, " and use him being sent away to work as his inciting incident.
Hope this helps.
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