A soldier suffering from PTSD participates in a virtual reality program to rescue a woman from human traffickers with the hopes it’ll cure his condition.

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The Subcontract

3 reviews

logeye · Penpusher · 180 pts

Participates is a weak verb and suggests that the task was straight-forward. But it wasn't, right? Virtual reality was just a cover for something else. So a soldier suffering from PTSD gets more than he bargained for when he signs up for a virtual reality mission to rescue a woman....

AHStitt · Wordsmith · 585 pts

Like dpg, this doesn't work for me. Less that it is contrived but certainly that it does not have stakes.

dogger · Legend · 87,055 pts

This doesn't work for me. It feels contrived and it lacks the essential story element of a compelling human emotional investment in a REAL stakes character. The other version you posted on 5/11/2013 is infinitely better.