A strawberry obsessed college student runs away to seek fame after suffering from physical and emotional abuse in 1960s San Diego.

by antonio3 · Wordsmith · 320 pts November 18, 2021 10 views

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Those Strawberry Nights

4 reviews

Odie · Maestro · 6,290 pts November 20, 2021

This is what I can glean:
“A quirky [aka strawberry-obsessed] [midwestern] college student escapes her [misogynistic father] to chase fame and fortune during the 1960s San Diego [counterculture phenomenon]”

Added a “California or bust”.
Amp up her dilemma by changing “escapes” to something more complex concerning her abuser's relationship.
Took liberties with the type of abuse.
No clue what her talents are e.g., singer – for color.
Added a world builder.

Hope you find this constructive, make this yours, keep going!

antonio3 · Wordsmith · 320 pts November 19, 2021

I revised it.

Odie · Maestro · 6,290 pts November 19, 2021

Yes.

OP - show don't tell "finds herself in coming of age adventures of growing up"

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