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The bit about "his father returning" is the thing I don't follow, I think.? I'd try to include some hint of why his father returning is bad.? Also, this young boy... is not a young boy, necessarily, right?? He's a young boy's spirit following a premature death?? Seems like that needs to be defined better too.? Also, a rite of passage being deadly doesn't seem a concern when you're in the afterlife already.? It's possible the boy is somehow doing this rite of passage in the world of the living...? if that's the case, I don't understand the "preventing being reincarnated" bit.
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