A young British academic visiting America and a besotted underage runaway evade exposure by passing themselves off as uncle and niece while travelling the country together:think Pygmalion/Lolita

Thanks, Craig.

I can see this. If you are familiar with Lolita, James Mason a mature english man is besotted by a 15 year old girl that uses sex (and the promise of sex) to toy with him. She is manipulative and he shows himself to be foolish from under his proper english exterior. The modern version came across creepy.

While Pygmalion has Rex Harrison (My fair Lady, same story) teacher her that she can be more than her environment has taught her to be. He wants to teach her a trick (to speak correctly) but she gets far more out of it.

I can see combining these two aspects makes for an exchange of power between the two characters in a dare I say it "Win Win" situation. They can both grow through this relationship and perhaps this makes them codependent.

Great concept. Not sure how to get all that across without referencing previous works for context.

Hi Anon. Re: think Pygmalion/Lolita. I think that anything that saves words while evoking some kind of recognition in the reader - and an idea of the film's genre - can be useful when done well. I'm not saying that I've necessarily done it well. Still working on my logline, so may leave it out. Wouldn't want to appear amateurish - heaven forbid! LOL. Thanks for your input.

Karenfoley -- great point... I do find that the line between developing loglines and developing plots is often very blurred, as the two are intrinsically linked. If there is a problem with the logline it can very easily be interpreted as a problem with the plot (I wouldn't know, but feel it's probably often the case...), particularly on a forum like this.

Lee Brooks -- I get a sense of this film, but, like dpg, don't get the specific plot... I can see these characters, but I have no idea what they have to do.

I'm with other's, in that including things like "Think Pygmalion/ Lolita" -- doesn't have a place in a logline; that stuff is probably best reserved for a verbal pitch. In written form it can come across as looking amateurish... well, in this hack's opinion anywho... but from what I've gathered, at least for query letters/ emails etc, the form of the logline is extremely important. The rule of thumb (in any order really...): Main character(s) -- (Occupation/ age/ sex...no names needed unless based on historic character's... but even then...) -- best served flawed/ Their ob(as opposed to sub)jective goal/ The event that causes them to go after that OBjective goal (Inciting Incident)/ Who or What opposes them in achieving that goal... and that's about it.

In your logline's case I get the MC's, but as i see no goal... well, I get they have to 'evade' (the authorities?), but there is no struggle in their subterfuge -- I have know reason to empathise with them, which means it's easy to lose interest in them achiving their their goal to 'evade' (who/ what?).

Best of luck.

I'll leave it there. Thank you to everyone who contributed sincere, constructive advice. I'll take it all under advisement. Much appreciated. Lee x

I mean - Karen!!! Why would you bother commenting on my conversation if all you have to say is that you possess some sort of superior knowledge. Not helpful at all. Surely there must be others more deserving of your words of wisdom than I. Help them.