A young man is forced from his conservative Mormon upbringing, into the pits of the United Mexican States, where he discovers his gift under the guidance of Santa Muerte – search, stalk, and execute.

Your gift for evocative words comes through, especially with your fabrications eg 'United Mexican States'. Also, many loglines are void of a sense of location context, so you have an advantage there.

'young man' - try more specific and evocative description of this character, which ideally reflects what kind of executioner he will become

It would also be a big plus if you can sneak in the force of antagonism. Who will he be stalking and executing? Civilians? Criminals?...

Thank you for sharing