Adar, an alien assassin, transports to Earth seeking three killers with chameleon abilities who escaped his ship. Adar must find his prey quickly before many of Earth’s inhabitants are slaughtered or live with dishonor.

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8 reviews

t3xx3r · Logliner · 410 pts

Nice logline but got several questions.

1.? What makes Adar special?? Any special attributes to identify him?
2.? What can he do to find those chameleon killers?? How can he see them?
3.? What is important about dishonor?? Maybe refer to intergalactic prime directive or laws?

Neer Shelter · Singularity · 39,985 pts

Hi Jay,

Check out the 'Formula' tab on the top bar for more details on logline best practice.

There's no need to mention the character's name in the logline, better to describe him instead. While he may be an assassin in the book, in this particular instance his job is that of a bounty hunter, so best call him that. Otherwise, you'll need to describe his function as well (an assassin hired to transport prisoners...) - it's confusing to read about an assassin who doesn't kill...

The stakes involved in his story "...live with dishonor..." pales in comparison to the threat of killing innocent people. Unless this is a character like Worf from Star Trek, who comes from a culture which was fundamentally constructed around honor. However, even then, you would need a significant amount of screen time to establish honor as a stake. Best cut the honor part as the other stake is far greater and universally recognised.

Last thing, remember that a book adaptation is just that - an adaptation, not a carbon copy word for word re telling of the story. If the story works better on screen with him as a bounty hunter instead of an assassin, why not change it?