After a meek high-school junior is thrown out of her house by her authoritarian mother, she unwittingly gets drawn into drugs and human trafficking, and struggles at every turn to survive in this dangerous underworld.

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4 reviews

Thanks for all of your comments, they illustrate the difficulty in creating loglines.

How does she get drawn into drugs and human trafficking? To me, that's a leap from being a high-school junior.

In the inciting incident you set up the mother as the antagonist, but the goal is unrelated - to survive the criminal underworld. I'd consider revising the inciting incident to relate to the drugs and human trafficking. Or the goal to be something to do with her mother.

As Richiev said, survival is not a goal. What does she actually want to achieve?

Is the main obstacle (antagonist) for the protagonist the "dangerous underworld?" Seems general /non descriptive and fails to create an alluring picture for me. Loglines should encapsulate the heart of the film, so the listener best sees and gets it.

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