After a road accident, a young malcontent finds himself legally bound to the whims of a narcissistic billionaire who aims to break him as a person.

by Hallucigenia · Wordsmith · 317 pts 5 views

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This is the first time I’m working from a logline to a script. Only the barest bones of the story are in place and I’m trying to keep it fluid. This is also the first thing I’m intentionally working outside of my wheelhouse (science fiction).

5 reviews

Hallucigenia · Wordsmith · 317 pts

That's great. That definitely pushes hard towards an ending. I really like it.

BenGilani · Showrunner · 2,070 pts

Hi Hallucigenia,
I guess I know where you are going with this and I like the story (if it is what I think it is). In the end, this is your story and all proposed loglines are and will be based on your original logline. You know better what you'll be writing. I personally have two issues with your reverse logline from the billionaire’s POV.

1- The term "directionless"
and
2- The structure of the sentence.

How does this sound to you?

"A Miserable young man enters a bored billionaire's life whose dark fantasies can cost their lives and sanity."

I hope this helps
Good Luck

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